When Disappointments Abound

25 Oct

Outside of the doubt I have struggled with, I think I would say the biggest thing I have had to deal with is trying to learn how to take disappointments and give them to Jesus.

Disappointments like being told that today, right now (unless God sends miraculous healing) is the strongest I will ever be again in my whole entire life. Like knowing that I can’t play with my little girls like most moms get to play with their kids. Like coming to the understanding I won’t be able to have family outings to the zoo or to any place with even just a moderate amount of moving and walking without struggling. Like sometimes having it take all I have in me just to breathe.

A huge disappointment came a couple days ago. I went for my biopsy follow-up anticipating some concrete answers only to learn that the muscle the surgeon removed was too small and too close to a tendon to provide conclusive answers. After about two years of dealing with unknowns, I was very disappointed to hear that there were still no answers. And on top of that, I will have to have a second more involved biopsy—one that removes a larger portion of the muscle.

The pathology report was teeming with phrases like: “poor quality specimen”, “diagnostic value is limited”, “there may be [this or that] but this observation cannot be confirmed”, “suboptimal specimen.”

I came away from the report feeling like the neurologist isn’t so sure that I have muscular dystrophy. And don’t get me wrong, while I would LOVE not to have muscular dystrophy, one thing I would dislike worse than hearing “Yes, you really do have muscular dystrophy” would be to hear “Sorry, it’s not muscular dystrophy and we don’t know what is going on with you. Let’s start a bunch of tests again.”

But amid all the disappointments, if I take my eyes off of all the circumstances that are ever changing around me and with a heart of faith and trust place my thoughts on the One who never changes, the One who works all things for my good, I can find the peace I am searching for to help me deal with the disappointment that seems to come in like a flood at times.

Isaiah 26:3 “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.”

Disappointments will come. And disappointments will sometimes seem to abound in our lives. But those disappointments should serve to draw us closer to the One who is in control. In trusting submission, we can know that Christ is in control. And since He is in control, the disappointments surely did not take Him surprise and leave Him without a plan for how to work in each of us. Sometimes the disappointments are the plan—meant to leave us yearning for, chasing after and leaning on the One who holds all things together.

If you are facing some disappointments, may I lovingly ask you to ask God to help you take your thoughts off of those circumstances and help you learn how to look to Him in the midst of everything you’re going through? That is what He desires of His children—that we would look to Him in everything.

One Response to “When Disappointments Abound”

  1. Betty Gardner October 26, 2013 at 4:54 pm #

    Love you Kelli. You’re such a blessing to so many 🙂

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